“Good morning, Miss Weesinger!”

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I can’t count the times I’ve been in an audience when the speaker has tried this dull technique. It just doesn’t work. But there are alternatives that do.

Copywriting: An Open-Book Test

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A wise teacher once told me, you don’t have to know all the answers — you just have to know where to find them.

How true . . . especially in regards to writing. The rules of English are too numerous and complicated to keep straight without reference. Those who wade into the word-sea had better know when and where to check their usage.

I have my own favorite places to look, including Apple’s dictionary and thesaurus. However, on any given day, I’ll find myself consulting one or more volumes in the list below. I wonder . . . what’s on your shelf?

Wordman’s Reference Shelf
  • Dictionary of American Slang 3rd Edition (Chapman with Kipfer)
  • The Elements of Style (Strunk and White)
  • The Elements of Editing (Arthur Plotnik)
  • The Elements of Grammar (Margaret Shertzer)
  • The Online Copywriter’s Handbook (Robert W. Bly)
  • On the Art of Writing Copy (Herschell Gordon Lewis)
  • Harper Dictionary of Contemporary Usage (William and Mary Morris)
  • American Medical Association Manual of Style
  • Taber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary
  • NTC’s Dictionary of Latin and Greek Origins
  • American Heritage Dictionary of American Quotations
  • 1000 Most Important Words (Norman Schur)
  • The New College Latin & English Dictionary
  • Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual
  • The Gregg Reference Manual (Sabin)
  • American Heritage College Dictionary
  • Roget’s College Thesaurus in Dictionary Form

Christmas Jazz CD Benefits Homeless Shelter

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A Caring Community Christmas Volume Two. Thanks go to Paul Mattingly at WUEV Radio for producing this jazz recording to benefit United Caring Shelters. I was honored to supply a song on the project, which featured some of Evansville’s finest musicians. Performing with me on A Night Like This are: Brian Hunt (piano); David Schnerr (bass and string arrangement); Mickey Grimm (percussion); Bob Green (flute, background vocals, engineer). Purchase recording at Amazon.

You’re a Funny Man

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My co-conspirator in musical misadventures, singer-songwriter Daniel Market, invited me to riff on a lyric: You’re a funny man, you’re a very funny man. His creative direction: “Think Kinks.” So, here’s homage to one of the world’s great rock ensembles with a lyric credit for Daniel. Created using Band-in-a-Box and Garage Band. 

By the way, you can find Dan’s newest CD, The Man I Sleep With, here.

Funny Man
“I stand on my porch looking out at the weeds;
The thought of whacking them makes me weak in the knees.
I saunter inside like a first-class slouch,
Heading for another blue spell on the couch.
Watching the world on a big flat screen—
It’s all held together by the ads in between.
Fortunately I have beer in the box;
How else could I stomach a peacock and fox?
You’re a funny man. You’re a funny man.
You’re a very funny, funny man.”

 

“Don’t Smoke, Unless You’re On Fire.”

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I recently took part in a contest to create a slogan that encourages smokers to quit. I entered a handful of ideas, and the judges chose one of the following as the winner. Can you guess which one? 
  1. Quit smoking — enjoy a kick-ash life!
  2. Smoke? Your body is dying to quit.
  3. Quit smoking today — no whiffs, brands, or butts.
  4. Health blooms when tobacco leaves. Quit smoking today.
  5. Quit smoking. Start living.

Sleep-Talking Builds Character

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As a rule, I’m not a morning person. But, earlier this month, I broke that rule for Youth Resources of Southwestern Indiana. They asked me to speak to the Teen Advisory Council,  which meets at 5:55 a.m.

Thank God for coffee.
Teen Advisory Council

The TAC is made up of high school students from throughout the area who work to better the community. I wonder: where do they get their energy at 5:55 a.m.?

 

World’s Smartest Dog Wins Liar’s Contest

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For Immediate Release, May 21, 2010: Rex, the world’s smartest dog, led his creator to victory in the District Eleven Tall Tales Championship of Toastmasters International. Copywriter John Michael O’Leary stretched the truth beyond recognition to best a pack of tall-tale tellers representing 30,000 Toastmasters members throughout Indiana and northern Kentucky. Said one Toastmaster about the contest: “If I had a dog as smart as Rex, I wouldn’t bother asking him to fetch a cup of tea. I’d ride him to fame and fortune on America’s Got Talent.”

A Short Rant on “Shortly”

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As a wordsmith, I cringe at the phrase “someone will be with you shortly.” (“On hold” phone messages, in particular, are plagued by this abysmal little promise.) I know the intended meaning for “shortly” is “in a short time.” But “shortly” can also mean “abruptly,” “sharply,” or “curtly.” Whenever I hear it, regardless of context, my subconcious girds for an argument.

A better choice is “soon.” It carries the intended meaning without the baggage. What’s more, it uses a mere four letters and one economic syllable.

Why risk coming across as brusque or unfriendly? Deep-six “shortly” from your service vernacular. And do it soon.